Learning not to take things personally is the work of a lifetime, but I’m getting some really good reps in lately. Without further ado, a short list of shit my toddler has said to me in the past week:
“You’re not being a very good mommy today”
Said while watching for my reaction in the mirror while we washed our hands together. After an otherwise very patient morning on my part, I’d gotten annoyed with her for repeatedly slamming the toilet seat onto her back while she peed, so this comment followed on the heels of “Why are you grumpy?”
“You’re such a nice mommy”
Said later that same day, while standing in her tower in the kitchen, pleased with me for giving her some cherries as a snack.
“You’re a bad mommy”
Said with a mischievous smile on her face, in the midst of a lovely lunch together, clearly as a way of testing the effect of those words on me. But how the eff does she even know to say something like that?? I’m certainly not using language like that, not doing the whole good/bad thing with her or when I talk about myself or anyone else.
“You’re such a good mommy”
I don’t remember the context of this one, just that it came later the same day of the “bad mommy” comment, in an equally benign moment.
“Mommy, can you not breathe? No breathing, okay Mommy? Okay? Don’t breathe Mommy”
Apparently I was breathing too loudly while cutting her nails as she sat on my lap.
“Mommy, can you go away? Can you go over there?” (pointing to the kitchen)
Said routinely when she’s playing with Jamie and I interrupt their 1:1 time by coming over to talk to them / join in.
“Look at the little buggy. It’s struggling because it doesn’t have its mommy. That little struggly buggy, it’s missing its mommy because it loves her.”
While “this is not personal” is the mantra I know I need to live by, from now until forever, I choose to take little comments like this one about the bug to heart. I’ll take all of the words of affirmation I can get right now, even if they come indirectly.
Kids can be little buggers, can't they?? Always testing the waters. That's just it, I guess. She's testing your limits, as well as her own.