This week completely got away on me, so as I sit down to start this, it’s exactly 5pm on Friday night. I’m sitting in Crepes on Cole, a cute little restaurant in Cole Valley with nice staff and reliable wifi, just across the street from my dear friend Alissa’s place. I’m due over there in the next 30-45 minutes for our annual card reading (the “Year Ahead Spread”) and intention setting for the year. So needless to say, I’m going to keep this one super brief.
I’ve been thinking a lot, or maybe more accurately feeling into what my intentions are for 2024. What do I most need? What habits or actions will best serve me in the year ahead? Jamie and I have had a few conversations about this, and did our own little card reading and journaling session on the evening of January 1st, and what has emerged so far is this:
My intention for 2024 is to simply make space and to trust that what is meant for me will come in to fill that space.
While to me this feels perfectly clear, I can imagine many people reading this being like “well what does that even mean?” That’s the beautiful thing about intention, it’s loose, non-prescriptive. It means what it means to me, and I know whether or not I’m honouring it. Goals, and especially those SMART ones we’ve all had drilled into us, can be great, but their black and white nature isn’t resonating with me right now. I’m too tired to make goals. I have exactly zero extra time/energy/space to add new tasks to my already insurmountable list. Right now, all I have in me is a deep desire for more space to myself, and I am trusting in the wisdom of that desire and in what might be possible for me if I honour it.
So, in practice, what does this intention mean for me? So far, it means:
Scheduling 4 hours of regular childcare every Friday afternoon for some me time. I am beyond grateful to have found someone I like and trust to care for Ava, which makes this possible. This is my first day/week of doing this, and so far I’ve: taken two long walks, had a phone call with my best friend, done my personal training session, gotten some intel on preschools, sent clients notes and emails, and now I’m sitting here writing. God it feels good to have some SPACE.
Doing the Lyon Street steps twice a week while listening to music that inspires me. The walk from our place to the base of the steps is a solid warmup, and I’m usually stripping off layers before I even get my foot on an actual step. I am not a person who enjoys cardio for its own sake, but doing these steps is something I genuinely enjoy. Even in the rain, as I discovered last weekend. I usually do three rounds of the steps, and I’m sure that will build over time as I make it a more regular practice. If I’m listening to the right music as my heart rate starts to climb, I also find myself flooded with ideas about things I want to write or do with my business, so I’m trusting that this practice will serve me in more ways than one.
And, of course, making space for this ritual tonight. Spending a couple of hours with a dear friend, thinking and talking about what we most want to bring into our lives, and being open to whatever wisdom comes forward.
I also intend to check in with myself at the end of each month. How have I been making space this month? What has been coming in to fill that space? How has that been serving me? And what am I wanting to shift as I move into a new month? I’m sure this type of language doesn’t resonate with everyone, but for me, the gentleness of it feels just right to me. I have have exactly zero interest in being hard on myself anymore, and this type of check in feels like it will help me stay on course, without any unnecessary (and ultimately unhelpful) self-flagellation.
So that’s it! And who knows what else will emerge tonight. For sure I’ll be staying open and trusting in the wisdom of what comes.
Until next time,
K